When I discovered the blogging community, it was exactly what I needed. People like me, bearing their soul. Talking about coming out. Talking about hooking up. All new to me. All very exciting.
Then, I started hooking up. Then I started blogging. Then I felt like I wasn't alone. Then I could read a number of blogs, with real people writing them. Real people reading them. Real people like me. Now, all gone. Well, almost all gone. There are one or two who occasionally pen a post. I must say, I'm delighted that Mr. Steed has started posting again, and I really enjoy the format. He's opened his closet and released a skeleton or two. But I digress.
Dang. What a turn my life has taken! Now married, half a year. Still. Happy.
But.....
I haven't given hooking up.
Hooking up definitely became more infrequent when Amigo entered my life. For the most part, my sexual needs were met. But the hook up was more than sex. It was the thrill. The hunt. The chase. The kill. I know. It's an addiction. But I'm not ready to deal with it yet.
Then, ironically, about the time of our wedding, our sex life took a severe nose dive. I wish I could elaborate.....it surely would be therapeutic for me, but I can't. Sharing my life on my blog is my choice, but sharing Amigos life with you would require his permission, and I'm not going to ask, because I would surely be denied. I understand.
So, it's hard, wanting to unburden myself, but not being able to. I'm a shit for hooking up while in a relationship, but trying to maintain a little integrity by not revealing too much about the Amigo. My sweet husband.
So, yah. I'm a little drunk. I'm on my 6th beer, and it's my day off. I've been wanting to write something for sooooooo long, but finally put my fingers to the keyboard tonight. Thanks to the beer.
I guess I'm not really going to be able to organize my thoughts tonight to make a coherent post. Grrrr. Maybe if I touch on the subjects I WANT to write about, then later, I can explore them in depth. Sure. That will do.
I miss blogging. I miss talking about hookups. I'm up to 523.
I miss other bloggers, like Buddy Bear, Bi Crossing the Line, Two Lives, Cheating top and a dozen more.
I really like being married. I love Amigo. I so enjoy this and hope I don't fuck it up.
I want to talk about being judgmental. How I thought love and sex were connected, and for me they are not. Not at all.
I want to hear from all my old blogger buddies. You know who you are. I know who you are.
I would really love to share photos and stuff from my life, but that's not practical.
So, I just re-read what I wrote, and it's a bunch of drivel. Oh well. I'm going to publish it anyway.
On a more trivial note, I got in a nifty car accident in April. I plowed into a lady at an intersection a block from my house. I think I ran the red light, but I really don't know as I was either looking at my phone, or so zoned out that I didn't even see what happened. I came back to reality when the air bag exploded in my face. Fortunately, no one was injured seriously, and my insurance company really stepped up to the plate, and covered me and the lady that I hit. Although not sexy, here are some photos!
