Another small update. The sex tape.

Amigo has mentioned to me from time to time that he would like me to post something on the blog.

What he wanted me to post about is our threesome.  Perhaps I will. 

What I want to post about, is well, more pedestrian.

Married life has been good.  A couple hiccups, but really good. 

For awhile, we had a problem in the bedroom where I couldn't cum.  Part of the problem was staying hard enough, for long enough to get the job done.  The little blue pills helped.  At least I didn't lose the erection, but the orgasm still eluded me.

I knew the problem was psychological.  I wish I knew what flipped the switch, but all of a sudden, I was able to perform to completion, just about every time.   Correct or not, I was not focusing enough on myself.  I find that I'm able to get the job done, if I just get in there, an get myself off, instead of being considerate of Amigo's needs.  Selfish, I know.  I don't always do that.  Sometimes it's him first.  Those are the times that sometimes I don't cum.  Sometimes it's his turn.  Sometimes it's mine.

But at least I kind of know what is going on with my body.

We have a couple of sex tapes too.  He likes to record us.  I have mixed feelings about it.  Watching the sex tapes is weird.  I'm always surprised at how I look.  I'm fatter that I think I am.  My dick looks bigger than I think it is.  I look more manly than I feel.  Of course I look older that I think.  (My brain still thinks I'm an awkward teenager)  I guess with this day an age of easy recording devices, we've all done this, right?  (It's not something I talk about with my friends......maybe you want to share your experiences.....??)

So, we made a sex tape last weekend.  Not too bad for a couple of .......mature gentlemen.  I think Amigo wouldn't mind if I did a quick edit and posted them here.   I kind of think he would even want me to ......I guess I need to ask.

The other thing I have wanted to blog about for soooooo long is my infidelity.

Amigo knew when we started dating that I was promiscuous.  He wasn't happy about it, but hey, it was his choice.  I told him early on, and he wanted to keep seeing me.   

I tried not to flaunt it.  I knew he didn't want to know about it.  So, we adopted a policy of "don't ask....don't tell."

In my mind I knew a couple things were happening.  He chose to believe what he wanted to believe, and I didn't do anything to rock that boat, although I was honest when confronted with the occasional direct question about it.   We even tried to get one my my suck buddies to join us. '

Long story short, an out-of-town businessman and I used to get together when he was here, about one time per month, and he was just the Amigo's type.  Older, white, hairy.  Amigo found out about it, and I asked the businessman it he was interested in having Amigo join in.  He was, but we could never make it happen.  He flaked out on us 4 times.

So, Amigo knew I had some things going in the side.  It settled down considerably when we got married, but it never really disappeared.  Then, we had my inability to cum problem, an then, Amigo had a hernia issue, and our sex life almost disappeared.    I started hooking up more and more with other guys.

This bothered me, but I kept justifying it in my head......if Amigo can't give me sex, then I'm free to get it elsewhere.  Right?  And he never asked about it, and I never brought it up. 

It came to an ugly head when I got a nasty discharge from my penis and went to the clinic.  Of course, I had to tell Amigo.  We hadn't had anal sex in months, but he had sucked me off a couple times per month.  I had to make sure both of us got treated.

He was shocked when I told him.

He claimed he had no idea that I was hooking up with other guys.  I still don't know whether he knew, and pretended not to know, to didn't know, or was lying to himself.....but it's wasn't good.  It was a real test of our relationship.

We had a very difficult conversation.

Some good things came from that.  One thing is that once we both got treatment, we started having sex again, an it's been pretty good!  Not as frequent as he would like, but were are dealing with work schedules, and horny schedules! (I only like sex in the mornings!)

Another good thing that came from it was, he was willing to accept a somewhat "open" relationship, as long as we were honest with each other about it.

I won't go into too much detail, but I can tell you that I have a couple young guys on the side that let me blow them....and Amigo knows about them, and Amigo has even engaged in a couple of romps of his own.  Also, as I mentioned earlier......we invited another guy over twice, and had a threesome!

So as I type this....it's a rare day off for me, in the middle of the week.  As usual, I'm having a beer or two, or three, and I'm not sure if what I am typing even makes any sense.  I do know it's making me feel good, just talking, or rather, typing about it.

Maybe I can review our latest sex video, and see if  maybe the Amigo will be agreeable about posting it.....or at least the faceless portions of it.

If not, then rest assured, that we look like porn stars, on a sex tape that you will never see.