Drama. Just what I always wanted.

I'm gonna just unburden myself this morning.

I can't remember how much about my new Amigo I've told you about, but to recap, he's 44.  He's Mexican, here in the US taking international business classes at a local college, 45 minutes from me in Ogden, Utah.

He's also struggling.  He is allowed to work part time at the University, and he uses this money to pay for his school .  Along with a little scholarship money, he barely makes ends meet.  He rents a room in a house, near the University, has no car, but uses the public transit system.  He rides for free as a student.

In December he was very worried about the upcoming semester.  He wasn't going to make it financially.  He was hinting for me to help.  To pitch in, either with financial help, or ask him to move in with me to free up the rent money.

I didn't respond to the hints except to express my concern.  I'm worried that him leaning on me financially will tarnish our relationship.  In the long run, I'm not looking for someone to take care of.  I'm looking for someone to share my life with.  Give and take.

I've wondered too what the Amigo sees in me.  I hope I wasn't just appealing as a meal ticket and a provider, someone to marry for citizenship, but the thought has crossed my mind.

I recently came out to my parents and sister.  This is because it was becoming awkward having the Amigo around on the weekends, and me having to cover my tracks.

Now, my Mom and Sister have both talked with Amigo on FaceTime.  Everyone seems quite happy with the situation.

I thought Amigo had his financial situation figured out, that's what he led me to believe when I asked him about it in a recent phone call, but here is the e-mail exchange we had this morning:


Good morning (Jack), 

I have a question for you. What are your future plans with me, well knowing now that your family knows you are gay and we have been dating for a while ? I don't wanna be rude about this, but I wanna know that you think about this and know what could be my expectations with you.  Maybe you don't know care, but I have my own life and this come with many challenges which you ready know them. I every semester I have many problems, but these have solution so I am usually very stressed about this. In this moment I am again worry  about this, but as I told you these is normal for me.

I am wondering and seeing best for you and I at same time. Have you thought if we can live together latelly. As i told you the last time, I am wondering to ask a some family in (a town)  whom maybe they could help me to live with them and so instead to pay rent a someone else, this money could be paid at School.  Nevertheless, I should know that you're thinking also because you are very important to me. 

SORRY, IF I'M BEING  VERY HONEST, BUT I HAVE TO FIND SOLUTION AND SEE WHICH IS MY CHALLENGES SO FAR.

Thanks,

(Amigo)



Good morning Amigo.

I am glad you are being honest with me.

Right now I am enjoying dating you.  I like hanging out together, and the sex and the cuddling.   I do not want to live together.  That will be too much for me right now.   This is all still very new to me, I have been single for so long, it's difficult for me to change.  I really don't have much experience in relationships.

I told my parents my secret so I would not have to be dishonest with them any more.  It was becoming difficult to explain on the weekends when you were around.   Now I won't have to lie about that anymore.

I know you have your life to live, and I know that you want a serious relationship with someone.  I am worried that I may never want to get THAT serious.  

But, for right now, I enjoy our time together, I hope you do too.


Thanks for being honest and asking the question.



Ok, no problem so this is over. 

I will start to ask to my friends in (a town) and start to go back to the church. 

I hope the best to you and I will walk alone to next step!!! 


Sent from my iPhone


Are you telling me you don't want to see me any more?  Do you want to call?


And then; Silence.

My experience with Amigo has been that there are language difficulties and mis-communication.  I try to be as clear as possible, and skip the niceties.

Also, I've learned not to over react.  Usually, he comes around in a day or two, and it seems that everything is all right.

So, I return home from California tomorrow.  I'm not sure if I will have an Amigo to return to, or not.