To blog, or not to blog, that is the question.

Seems like every blogger must go through this phase.

Lucy!  You have some es-plane-ing to do!

 Now that I've reached another milepost, I'm going to question it again.  Actually,  I think I've made my mind up, but I think I have some explaining to do.

If you read the very first entry of this blog, I mention that the stories I write are all 100% true, and they are all written directly following the experience.  I just never really mentioned how long of a time gap between when they happened, and when you readers got to read about it.

I had my very first CL hookup, Feb 1, 2009.

I detailed the account in an e-mail, to an internet pen pal, whom I also met on Craigslist.

I started keeping track of every single new guy I had sex with; first on a spreadsheet, with all the contact details I could get, including e-mail address, street address, when provided, phone number when provided, and any other info I could get with a bit of internet detective work.

I though this way, if I caught some terrible STD, I would at least have a list of the guys I had been with.

Hamlet:  To be, or not to be.....

But, the spreadsheet of e-mail addresses and phone numbers seemed inadequate, and my buddy wanted to hear about the encounters, and this is about the time I had read other hook-up blogs, so I started my first blog.

I really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed writing about my encounters, problem was, there was only one person who read it.  One precious reader.

As much as I enjoyed writing about my adventures, and sharing it with my friend, eventually, I became more comfortable allowing others to read it.  Mostly they were the guys I hooked up with.  I gave them the link to my (original) blog.

The problem I discovered, is that no matter how much someone enjoyed reading about my sexual escapades, NOBODY, was interested in reading dozens and dozens of posts in a single sitting, and I found that when I shared the URL with a select few, they would get bored quickly, and that was that.  Still, I really had only the ONE loyal reader.

I googled "Naked Hamlet"
and this popped up!

So, 14 months after my first hook-up, I invented Explorer Jack, and I re-posted my first hook-up story, on this blog.  I decided to dole out the stories with an eyedropper, perhaps one a day, or one every other day, until I got caught up with the present.  That worked pretty well, and I got new readers, and people started  commenting.  The problem was, is that readers kept assuming that the encounters had just happened, and I just kept on letting you guys assume that.

The problem occurred when I was posting a story about a sticky hot sweltering summer day,  when a sweaty hot young man was sucking me off, and in actuality, I was publishing it to this blog in December.

I decided to take a break.  I would either quit publishing the posts to this blog, or, wait for the seasons to catch up with my posts.

Of course the whole time I was still having lots of new hook-up, and still writing about them, and still letting my ONE friend read them.

When the time of year caught up with then next story to be published, exactly two years had passed from the time of the encounter, until the time you read about it.  The latest encounter you read about, Dude #200, blew me on Saturday June 4, 2011, and I re-published it on this blog on Tuesday, June 4, 2013 exactly two years later.

So, That's my confession.

As of today, Thursday, June 6, 2013 I am up to #326.  Yes, in two years, I've managed to hook-up with an additional 126 guys.  I have posts already written about each and every one of them.

I had a particularly rough time around the holidays this past year.  There were bouts of suicide (not mine) and STDs (yes mine)  My mind was spinning and I think blogging helped me make sense of it all, but of course, if I continue this blog, you won't read about it for another year and a half.

Also, now that I've got the hook-up think mastered, I've come to some new conclusions about myself.  I've been opening up myself to the idea of something more long term.  As of this writing, I've actually had two separate guys want multiple sleep overs with me.  Both have ended, one on my terms, and one not on my terms, and I may want to write about those as well.  I've also had a couple of coffee and or lunch dates.  (And come to think of it, the coffee date turned into a regular F-buddy, and turned into a sleepover thing, which turned into kind of a monogamous thing, which lasted less than 24 hours, before I ended it over something really stupid.  Oh, the Drama!)

Finally, I wonder if it's time to start to share more of the personal and/or emotional side of what I'm going through.  You know I am a real person, with more that just hooking up with.  I work, I travel, I deal with issues of aging parents, and all kinds of other stuff, but I have chosen to not really write about  that stuff.  And I'm finally coming to the conclusion that I might actually enjoy being with another man in an intimate and personal relationship.  Gulp, I think I just described "boyfriend."

It sounds really stupid, but I think I finally realized that I've been gay all these years, but not wanting to admit it, has left me closed to the possibility developing that kind of relationship.  I guess I always just thought it would happen with a woman, and it never did (duh!  I feel like such an idiot now) and now there are all of theses guys calling me handsome and shit, and I just don't have the skill sets to take it to the next level.

I really admire bloggers like Buddy Bear, who can open themselves up to us.  I'm just not quite sure that I can do it very well.

So, that's it.  My confession.  My dilemma.

Do you guys (and at least one gal) even want to read about all these hook ups that happened two years ago?  If so, should I just leave in the original dates and seasons?  Should I post one a day and get caught up, or is it more fun to follow along at the original pace...sometimes every day, and sometimes weeks in between.

You can let me know.  Comment if you like, it's easy to do anonymously or you can e-mail, 3Xplor@gmail.com.