I have a problem. I was so remorseful after I did this I was almost in tears. I promised myself I would NOT fuck bare again. I especially was bound and determined not to fuck anonymous bare. If a dude is gonna take raw loads from anyone, then he's bound to catch something sooner or later, and just after I had the big gonorrhea epidemic incident!
But I just couldn't stop myself. Even as I was doing it, I was helpless to stop myself. Fuck. fuck, fuck!
But I just couldn't stop myself. Even as I was doing it, I was helpless to stop myself. Fuck. fuck, fuck!
TAKING DICK - 26 (DOWNTOWN)
Date:
WILL BE ASS UP AND FACE DOWN LUBED AND READY
WALK IN AND DO YOUR THING, CUM THEN LEAVE
BE INSHAPE PLEASE
BREED MY BUTT
DDF, NEG TOO
I put condoms and lube in my pocket and headed out to this kids apartment. I had been there before, in October 2011, so I knew what I was getting into. Notice how he didn't even ask my age or stats or STD status? I just sent him a faceless pic of me with a hardon, and he sent back the address.
I just dropped my pants to my knees and began trying to get my dick hard. I put some more lube on the boys crack, and pushed it in his hole with my thumb as it leaked down. He was already well oiled though. I was still trying to stiffen up, but not having much luck as I fingered his tight asshole trying to warm him up as well.
In an effort to get hard I started to rub my dick on, his butt. Closer and closer to his hot hole, and I started to chub up. Now I was just running my dick right on his starfish, and the evil little homo inside me took over and I just pushed my cock in his ass. Raw. Bare.
Fuck it felt good. So slippery and smooth, yet tight. I could feel my orgasm building right then and there. I thrust in and out a couple times, and almost peaked right there, and I wasn't even fully hard yet. I pulled out. I stood there for a couple of seconds, or maybe it was an eternity, while I once again tried with all my might to make the right decision, and instead, I pushed my cock right back in his butt.
It only took a couple more thrusts and I was bursting my wad in his ass. I kept pumping away, milking out the last of my orgasm, embarrassed that I had lasted only a minute. Two pump chump.
I pulled out and looked for something to wipe the lube and cum from my cock but there was nothing so I just pulled up my pants and grabbed the unopened condoms and lube and bailed. I had only been inside his apartment for four minutes.
As I left, I spied the other guy. The one scheduled for 10:30. I hope he lasted longer than I did.
PS.
I'm serious. This reckless behavior is not like me and I don't know what to do about it. (Name Removed), since you're the only one who reads this, do you have any advice? Have you ever seen a therapist? I need some tools to deal with this problem before it gets me into trouble.
Update:
I ran to the STD clinic for testing, but they told me to come back in a week, as the lab results might not show anything, as it had been too soon after potential exposure.
So, I had to wait a week, without hooking up, especially with my trusted regulars. Then the test, and, fucking hell, a bacterial infection in my pee-hole. They gave me a prescription for anti-biotics, which I took and made me nauseous for the rest of the day. I get test results back in a week to see if it's Chlamydia or just a nonspecific urethritis (but possibly sexually transmitted) infection. I have to wait 7 days after taking the antibiotic treatment, before I can have sex again.
My stupid behavior cost me at the minimum, two weeks of not hooking up.
God-knows-what at worst. The test results next week will tell.
Why didn't I put that damn condom on???
Update:
I ran to the STD clinic for testing, but they told me to come back in a week, as the lab results might not show anything, as it had been too soon after potential exposure.
So, I had to wait a week, without hooking up, especially with my trusted regulars. Then the test, and, fucking hell, a bacterial infection in my pee-hole. They gave me a prescription for anti-biotics, which I took and made me nauseous for the rest of the day. I get test results back in a week to see if it's Chlamydia or just a nonspecific urethritis (but possibly sexually transmitted) infection. I have to wait 7 days after taking the antibiotic treatment, before I can have sex again.
My stupid behavior cost me at the minimum, two weeks of not hooking up.
God-knows-what at worst. The test results next week will tell.
Why didn't I put that damn condom on???
Jack, as an avid reader of yours for years I know first hand what you are experiencing. The thrill of the hunt, the idea of a quick anonymous nut so you can move on with your day, the decision to fuck raw because it feels so much fucking better, the remorse, the worry, the antibiotics, more worry, repeat. Been there, done that. Then did it again. Step 1, know your weaknesses and avoid those situations like the plague! Avoid anon CL hookups. Avoid any situation where you might be setting yourself up for failure. Easier said than done but that is what I do. Easier said than done but its a start. I have plenty of input and advice and personal stories to share if you want to talk.
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